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1. Purpose
There needs to be a reason to get up in the morning. This is often tied to work for men, but it doesn’t have to be. If out of work, create a reason to get up in the morning. This might be to keep the house tidy, pursue a hobby, help family or simply look after your wellbeing (e.g. exercise). A hobby where you can learn (e.g. an instrument) can create a sense of mastery.
2. Routine
This is something work tends to create naturally. In therapy, I often notice men’s wellbeing shift when they add routine to their day. An example of this may be to create a list (even if it’s small jobs) and tick jobs off as you go, this gives a sense of satisfaction and achievement. In addition regular sleep/wake times are part of routine, and also promote health more generally.
3. Community
In the case of younger men, this might be a bit easier (sports clubs, university clubs, workmates). However as men age and retire, at times socialising and a sense of community can reduce rapidly. Try joining some social clubs or even volunteer, and stay connected.
4. Self-compassion
Typically we are not taught to be self-compassion (rather stoic and self-sufficient) and our brain to an extent is geared negatively (to avoid threat). This is an area I’ve seen make a huge difference for men. Ask yourself: Would I say that to my son? A friend? What can I say to myself that would be supportive in this moment?
5. Insight
Men will often come to me saying they are unsure why they feel a certain way, or aren’t even sure what they feel. To be in tune with what you feel often creates insight and insight can make it easier to understand what you want. You can start by taking a “guess” at what you feel and noting that down. This can be done with a therapist but doesn’t have to be.